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Red Marks

by Femur

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    Small run of "Red Marks". Comes in a sleeve, with artwork by Aislinn Maxwell.

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1.
Red Marks 04:57
Out of the womb, into the sanctum of life Pass the knife, exposing my arm to groom Shades of grey colour the walls Then everything surrounding turns to black I rely on everybody to make it through the day Work for nothing, expect nothing in return Work for something, expect nothing in return She reigns over me Everyday Constantly Eternally She reigns over me Rip through the seam It's so much easier on me Rip through the seam If you proceed, then stop at nothing Rip through the seam It all makes sense to me The butter knife only leaves red marks Like the bugs of the earth I measure my own self-worth Piece by piece, I'll remove myself from the world
2.
I am the problem You are the solution Soft skin, pleasure She is the sun and I am rain Bad weather Trickling down to the ground Stay Down As to not upset the crown I am the problem I am at fault here I am the problem Same old, same old I am the problem It makes sense to me All the fucking same Burn
3.
Dead-set on ending this All I need is an audience What's the point if no one's there to see? I'll grab the knife and drag it slowly Then watch it bleed--I'll kill myself today 600,000 eyes stare back at me I found a way out To give my life Despite wrong it is It feels so right My personal knife fight This grave will feed you ashes That you will never sow I'll locked the door And hide the key Someplace dark where you can't see So you can't make it out alive So I can die with you by my side
4.
Fuck your fake god And your religion I'm a deadbeat with no ambition Forever lost Same old story, masochist Rendered useless, nothingness I write the story Craft the scenes from memories I'll design the ending So that I explore the greatest malheurs To see if it's all worth it That in which I'm after I refuse to take this abuse
5.
I'd bleed for you in the bedroom Because I know no other way To tell you how I feel Except in metaphors and wordplay I know how much this means to you Separate myself from the list of things that I Dwell on as a means to my own end It's easier said than done I give in to the ever-present Worship Breathe Warm breath Leave me Save yourself Take my word Your better off with someone else I feel the cold, fragrant air Mixing in with these feelings of despair I only exist in this world as a vessel Of self-fucking hatred and pain Total annihilation I could count all of my bones.
6.
Welcome Wind 08:20
Breathe Breathing slow There's something wrong Silence fills the room Certain endings loom Frozen, I cannot move Because I know it's over soon There's something wrong Something wet Something warm Lifeless I can't find the words for what was felt Beauty laid exactly where we said it would There is nothing more I could have asked for There's something wrong Something wet Something warm Lifeless I can't find the words for what was felt Beauty laid exactly where we said it would There's something wrong I said goodbye for the last time I'm staring at the world And it stares right back at me Wrapped in the strength of a thousand arms We say our last goodbye I counted down the days The phases of the moon In hopes that the wind would take me too Pressure continues to build But things cease to change It's always the same
7.
Tourniquet 06:13
Dig me out of this hole I'm sick and feel alone But I digress I'm not a mess, just a victim of circumstance Yesterday, I found a place inside Because I won't run So I need to hide From these feelings of guilt and grief that govern my life There's no relief Alive and well is what I tell myself There's nothing left But apathy and fucking stress Alive and well is what I tell myself Not a mess, just a victim of circumstance Fuck everything Fuck everything that you own Fuck everything Fuck everything that you stand for You fucked with me everyday Further, further It's a failure to breathe, and I'm drowning So give me the fucking rope And wrap it around my neck Still I remain entrusted in this System of guilt I sealed my fate When I called this place my home I suppose I would Take it back if I thought I could Never the less we trudge on In the land of sad and numb Alive and well I'm gone, you're nothing I've gone away Not gonna sleep today I can't sleep anymore I've gone away But I think it's better off this way Fuck everything Fuck everything that you own Fuck everything Fuck everything that you stand for You fucked with me everyday Further, further It's a failure to breathe And I'm drowning My fate is sealed This is me dug in Nowhere to go but down In the land of doom and gloom
8.
Seven minutes 'Til this is fucking over Losing all feeling Extremities are growing colder My mind is weeping Weeping for something greater I'm breaking down, I think it's time to end this once and for all I'm trying (trying) But nothing (nothing) Is working (working) Never-ending criticism That I impose on myself (on myself) I'll never (never) Be good enough (good enough) Despite everything that I'm saying I'd be lost without this feeling It reminds me when I'm at my darkest That I'm still alive I'm alive, but only for tonight I'm drowning (drowning) Myself (in a) Sea of (self-pity) Apathy continues to swallow me whole (it swallows) Filthy, I'm (hollow) Guilty, I (wallow) Always trying to find the answers Despite my trying nothing matters I am on a mission against myself It makes me feel alive I'm alive, but only for tonight I'm alive, but just for tonight Consider this my final goodbye I am the enemy number one I am dead.
9.

credits

released December 15, 2018

All music written by Dylan Maxwell, Eric Niemi, and Jake Laakkonen of Femur.
Recorded by Sean Skillen @ Exit Music Studio.
Mixed by Sean Skillen and Femur.
Mastered by Jon Törnblom @ Transparent Mastering.
Guest vocals by Curtis Mackay Wilson on Tourniquet and Fuck Femur.

Special thanks to all of our family and friends who continue to support us.

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Femur Thunder Bay, Ontario

2014-

Please contact jakelaakkonen@yahoo.ca for all inquiries!

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